Some people go to school for years and years to earn degrees. Brooke Winslett’s entire life was defined by the pursuit of an advanced degree – in life.
I could easily talk for hours about Brooke – and still only scratch the surface of this wonderful complex, gifted and blessed young woman.
Over the past few days our family has been comforted by many thoughtful tributes – on Facebook, on websites and in e-mails and notes. However, in almost all of these tributes the same words appear again and again.
Kindness
Perseverance
Courage
And, in a way we cannot adequately convey, these three attributes were so strongly combined to make up Brooke’s character that it was difficult to discern where one ended and the other began. First, let us talk of her kindness.
One friend described her loving nature as being like a ray of sunshine in all of our lives.
Brooke had as pure a heart as anyone I ever knew. She was a straight shooter and could be plain spoken, but I never knew Brooke to be deliberately unkind to another human being.
That’s not to say she couldn’t become indignant when she believed someone was behaving badly toward someone she loved and had no compunction about telling you exactly what she felt.
Brooke also had a tender heart, especially for the very young and the very old.
She was a deeply spiritual person. She, more than anyone I have ever known, understood and took as her personal charge the words of Jesus, “Whatsoever you do to the least of my people that you do unto me.”
Brooke couldn’t abide injustice of any kind and was a kind of Joan of Arc of uneven relationships. But there was nothing calculated about her response and she never used guile or pretended an emotion she didn’t feel in sharing her point of view.
Brooke was, instead, the eager dispenser of affection and appreciation.
A lifelong friend who knew Brooke all the way from their days at McConnell Elementary to shared classes at Chattanooga State said “My memories of school all have Brooke in them so picking out one is a very difficult task. However, there is one thing that stands out that I loved about her – and that is her hugs. A hug from Brooke spoke a million words and melted all your worries away.”
Brooke loved Facebook because it kept her in touch with everyone she loved. One of our cousins wrote of Brooke, “I never knew when you were going to pop up on my chat line but when you did, I felt a surge of joy. That is the effect you had on me.”
That is the effect she had on us all.
Brooke gave perfect Christmas gifts. That’s because she spent time and energy thinking about such things all through the year, not just in the frantic weeks before December 25. A chance remark you may have made years earlier planted a seed in Brooke’s mind. She researched your personal interests just as thoroughly as she studied our family tree and then looked in stores or online until she found the very item that would produce an amazed reaction from the recipient on Christmas morning.
Brooke was the heart and the center of all of our family gatherings. She had a sense of fun and appreciation for fun that surpassed all of us. She was never happier than when surrounded by her kin and she worried about keeping us all together as much as possible. She also worked hard to honor those who had gone on to Heaven and she fretted about the upkeep of the Caroline Chapel Cemetery – named for Brooke’s great-great grandmother and where our Griffith and Francis and Knox ancestors are buried. Because Brooke didn’t drive, she had to ask others to take her there, and she led us in placing flowers on the graves and paying our respects. She kept us mindful of the ties that bind and she was the self-appointed and carefully placed knot.
Perseverance: Brooke’s tenacity was legendary. She was a lifelong learner and nowhere was her stick-to-it- iveness more evident than in the classroom.
One of her earliest teachers wrote this week “I worked with Brooke when she was in 3rd grade one on one, my goal was for her to, write her spelling words neatly, after over 2 months of having her write and rewrite her words, I was feeling that we would not reach that goal. Just as I was giving up I turned to hear Brooke's teacher give the next assignment, I turned back to see Brooke's spelling words written PERFECTLY, I was so proud of her, and she was excited!”
Another teacher wrote that Brooke was one of those students you never forget and “there hasn’t been a year that has gone by that I haven’t used Brooke as an example of perseverance for my students.”
And someone else said she remembered when the other children got off the school bus in the afternoon they would go to play but Brooke would head directly inside to get started on her homework.
So many times Brooke became frustrated with her struggle to succeed. She was her own toughest critic. Yet, no matter how tough the circumstances, she always picked herself up and started once again.
She trolled the Internet for information about our ancestors and developed a proud and encyclopedic knowledge of her family’s 250-year history as pioneers in Tennessee, Alabama and Virginia.
Brooke was an avid student of history and literature. Her depth of understanding always surpassed the expectations of others. And, like any scholar, she was always actively making connections. One of her favorite books was the best-selling novel of a hundred years ago, “St. Elmo,” by Augusta Evans. Just last week she excitedly text messaged me from Italy: “I now see why Augusta Evans said the view from the hills of Rome reminded her of the view from Lookout Mountain.”
She said she loved visiting the Vatican and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the Sistine Chapel. She added that the tour guide said she – Brooke – had the strongest Southern accent she had ever heard. That tells me that Brooke – tenacious, questioning, challenging Brooke--- did as much talking as she did listening.
She was fearless in asking as many questions as it took to receive the answers she sought.
And, that brings us to the final attribute with which many of us associate our Brooke: her courage.
Courage. Or, as Ernest Hemingway once described it, grace under pressure.
One of her professors at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga made the comment that Brooke – in the tradition of Henry David Thoreau—lived and lived deliberately. His words comprised of one of the most beautiful and true observations I have ever heard of Brooke’s life. She lived deliberately.
Brooke’s heroes weren’t rock musicians or movie stars or the faux celebrities of our brittle age. Her heroes were real people who overcame real challenges to teach and inspire others. She was an advocate for the “handicapable” and counted as the highlights of her life her work as a docent and student speaker during a 2007 exhibit on the Holocaust. During her time at UTC, she loved meeting actress and advocate for the deaf Marlee Matlin and reality TV icon Amy Rolloff and proudly displayed photos made with each of them on her Facebook page. And, she loved Princess Diana – but not because of her beauty or her glamorous clothes. Brooke loved Diana because she was “the people’s princess.” Brooke admired Diana’s compassion for others and her refusal to quietly accept the dictates and restrictions of a royal life and, most of all, how she used her status to gain attention for the underserved and underrepresented.
She didn’t realize it but that is precisely what Brooke did. She inspired others by refusing to be defined by the so –called limitations of her life.
One of Brooke’s lifelong friends wrote: “Brooke, I admired your courage as a young girl, and continued to do so later in life. You had the strength and determination to conquer your goals that many others would have failed to pursue in light of the slightest adversity. You gave hope to so many --both capable and handicapable.”
Brooke’s courage was singular: a hearing-impaired young woman who treasured gospel music and its promise of a heavenly reunion with beloved family. A vision-impaired girl who looked beyond the obvious and saw things many of us with 20/20 vision missed.
A physically challenged human being who refused to be constrained and insisted she would be a world traveler.
I will end these remarks with the same words I used to begin them. Brooke Winslett’s entire life was about the pursuit of an advanced degree – in life. But she wasn’t the student. She was our teacher.
